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(Mail Tribune) Stupid Police arrest three ninjas after months-long crime spree. Naturally, police suspect the boys were trying to be just like that icon of the ninja community, Jackie Chan  T-Shirt (49)
Clicked 5134 times; posted to Main on Thu, 23 Aug 2007 at 8:32 AM
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Pxtl 2007-08-23 08:33:21 AM  
Wanted for questioning:

tbn0.google.com

 
strangeguitar [TotalFark] 2007-08-23 08:33:55 AM  
Those boys should chnage disciplines.
Gymkata is the one true martial art

 
Madman drummers bummers 2007-08-23 08:34:04 AM  
They'd have caught them a lot sooner if they'd sicced pirates on them. Natural enemies and all that.

 
dave420 2007-08-23 08:34:56 AM  
Ninja = Japanese
Jackie Chan = Chinese

 
sluglife 2007-08-23 08:36:58 AM  
Hilarious! I hope someone burns the word "ninja" into my yard someday.

 
NineInchNader 2007-08-23 08:37:23 AM  
"In one incident, the word 'ninja' was burned into a man's yard with bleach," said Lewis. "But I don't think anybody saw them committing crimes."

Of course not... THEY WERE NINJAS!

"But the kid took off at full speed, running to the edge of the building," said Lewis. "Then he jumped off into space, hit a tree, broke branches all the way down to the ground, where he gave out a yelp of pain and then melted away into the night."

Except for that guy. Real Ninjas don't show pain before melting into the night. Though maybe it was just a Kia that the witness misinterpreted.

 
corbell 2007-08-23 08:40:28 AM  
"Hey dudes, thanks for rescuing me. Let's go for a burger... Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

/I am a bad dude.

 
Shakespeare's Monkey [TotalFark] 2007-08-23 08:40:43 AM  
Three teen members of a self-proclaimed "ninja" group face felony charges after their months-long spree of nighttime pranks morphed into serious criminal activity, police say.

Sounds more like dumbass kids than anything else. Take em out back and get the paddlin over with.

That being said, I have a stupid question. In WoW people refer to ninjas but I've never seen a reference when I play. So what does it mean?

/Yes, feel free to ridicule me in any way that tickles your pickle.
//noob, nerd, u suxor, basement dweller, smells like feet wrapped in leathery bacon.
//slashez! LOLOL!!11ELEVENTY

 
wildcardjack 2007-08-23 08:41:56 AM  
Dear lord, they really said "I think they watched too many Jackie Chan movies and got caught up in the fantasy,"

I know there is a stereotype that all Asians look alike, but at least make an effort.

Hmmm, I just realized there isn't as much of a Ninja movie lineage in comparison to the Chinese martial arts movie lineage. Why is that? Or am I just cut off culturally.

Oh, and if I recall, dark green works better for concealment than black. Or is that just in the woods?

 
PersistentTater 2007-08-23 08:46:56 AM  
Shakespeare's Monkey: That being said, I have a stupid question. In WoW people refer to ninjas but I've never seen a reference when I play. So what does it mean?

WoW ninjas are the delightful people that wait for you to start fighting the last mob out of the 874,569 that you have to kill to get to the ore, treasure, item, whatever that you really need... and then waltz in and ninja your shiat right out from under you.

 
Detroit_Bob 2007-08-23 08:48:21 AM  
wildcardjack: Oh, and if I recall, dark green works better for concealment than black. Or is that just in the woods?

Black is a terrible for camouflage. Too dark.

 
PersistentTater 2007-08-23 08:48:24 AM  
wildcardjack: Hmmm, I just realized there isn't as much of a Ninja movie lineage in comparison to the Chinese martial arts movie lineage. Why is that?

True ninja invisible on film. Can only make movie with fake ninja!

 
Pro Zack 2007-08-23 08:48:26 AM  
Ninja, Please

 
Walker [TotalFark] 2007-08-23 08:48:36 AM  
From their MySpace page. Needs a caption, preferably something to do with pooping.

img.photobucket.com

 
Fluid 2007-08-23 08:54:02 AM  
Hopefully this'll stop them from making any more bad movies.

 
Big Jimmy Oswald 2007-08-23 08:56:21 AM  
Cop is probably still just mad at the Chinese for Pearl Harbor.

 
WhiskeyTango 2007-08-23 08:57:10 AM  
If only they realized the sublime perfection that is Sinanju.

 
usrid0 2007-08-23 09:02:55 AM  
"We had to get it stopped. It was getting too serious. So we kicked in our afterburners and solved the case," said Lewis.

Orly?

 
Chalker1123 2007-08-23 09:06:57 AM  
Jackie Chan is seriously the dog's bollocks. I'm American and I have no qualms about using that phrase because it fits him so well. Can you really think of another guy who would be cooler to spend a weekend with?

/Maybe FDR, that guy could drink like George Best

 
wh0mprat 2007-08-23 09:11:40 AM  
WhiskeyTango: If only they realized the sublime perfection that is Sinanju.

Remo Williams these guys ain't.

/Did they at least escape by running along power lines?

 
radarlove 2007-08-23 09:12:00 AM  
contentcafe.btol.com

 
PersistentTater 2007-08-23 09:13:38 AM  
i96.photobucket.com

 
dave420 2007-08-23 09:14:37 AM  
Big Jimmy Oswald: Cop is probably still just mad at the Chinese for Pearl Harbor.

Idiot. That was the Germans.

 
Shakespeare's Monkey [TotalFark] 2007-08-23 09:14:57 AM  
PersistentTater Thank you.

Only a related note: I hope they continue to make awful ninja movies. They are fun to laugh at and sooner or later someone will make a parody. If you haven't seen "Hot Fuzz" yet then stop what you are doing and go directly to a theater. I thought it was extremely funny.

 
Lozer T. User 2007-08-23 09:18:36 AM  
They've been caught. Now it is time for them to commit suicide.

/Wait, they weren't real ninjas?

 
LonghornJ 2007-08-23 09:19:24 AM  
Chuck Norris has ninja's bring him breakfast in bed each morning... then he breaks the table tray over their skulls.

 
dave420 2007-08-23 09:21:38 AM  
LonghornJ: Chuck Norris has ninja's bring him breakfast in bed each morning... then he breaks the table tray over their skulls.

Nearly - the Ninjas are the breakfast.

 
Catracks 2007-08-23 09:24:34 AM  
This is what happens when the left gets control of a country. Thos though police stuff wa science fiction a few years ago. Pretty soon, enforcers will be coming in to your home to search for firearms, algohol, cigarettes and fatty food. You habits will be monitored and your life controled down to the smallest detail. Forget even parenting your own kids. The state will do that for you.

It's not about safety for society; it's about power and control.

 
bearloverhr 2007-08-23 09:26:05 AM  
i168.photobucket.com
/srsly, don't mention ninjas. They are not to be messed with.

 
Catracks 2007-08-23 09:26:32 AM  
I was wondering why all the ninja talk. Wrong thread.

/mortified and un-ninja like

 
Basking_lizard 2007-08-23 09:37:56 AM  
NineInchNader:
"But the kid took off at full speed, running to the edge of the building," said Lewis. "Then he jumped off into space, hit a tree, broke branches all the way down to the ground, where he gave out a yelp of pain and then melted away into the night."


That quote FTW. :D Nice to see them having a little fun with the story.

 
drunkenvibe 2007-08-23 09:42:24 AM  
tum tum, rocky and colt have gotten out of hand.

 
Rev. Skarekroe [TotalFark] 2007-08-23 09:43:56 AM  
Catracks: I was wondering why all the ninja talk. Wrong thread.

/mortified and un-ninja like


Oh, ok.
I thought maybe you were a ninja rights activist or something.

 
notbrokeback 2007-08-23 09:48:32 AM  
Did he say "So we kicked in our afterburners and solved the case?"

afterburners. ninjas. 1989.

/cut like a ninja, slice like a razorblade
//not obscure enough

 
dynobot 2007-08-23 10:04:26 AM  
SUBBY!

you fail, for passing up a wonderful opportunity for a 3 Ninjas reference, and instead opting for the lame Jackie Chan reference, which is more like a statement instead of a joke. a stupid, unfunny, irrelevant statement. thank god radarlove saw the light. at least someone is awake this morning.

 
tomWright [TotalFark] 2007-08-23 10:10:37 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Disapprove

 
Mailorder_Husband 2007-08-23 10:23:28 AM  
Forget all that Ninjitsu rubbish, Gymkata FTW!

www.whiterose.org

/Skeelz and keelz

 
PersistentTater 2007-08-23 10:33:59 AM  
dynobot: SUBBY!

you fail, for passing up a wonderful opportunity for a 3 Ninjas reference, and instead opting for the lame Jackie Chan reference, which is more like a statement instead of a joke. a stupid, unfunny, irrelevant statement. thank god radarlove saw the light. at least someone is awake this morning.


DYNOBOT!

RTFA: "I think they watched too many Jackie Chan movies and got caught up in the fantasy," Lewis said.

 
Dipster [TotalFark] 2007-08-23 10:35:31 AM  
Just send out some pirates after them!

 
hamachan 2007-08-23 10:47:52 AM  
Jackie Chan isn't a spy. Ninjas are spies, not fighters. They rely on stealth and being able to sneak in quietly and get information. They're trained to be able to fight, but they rarely do fight.

All asians are the same? Wow, I'll have to tell that to my girlfriend, who is Japanese. Actually, I'll have to tell that to everyone who lives around me. They're Japanese. Japanese are quite polite. The Chinese government is trying to teach their people to be polite for the Olympics. I heard they're not very successful. China has some of the rudest people in the world.

 
Philliam.H.Muffman 2007-08-23 10:54:49 AM  
I think this makes sense. For example,

Chinese Food= Asian
Nintendo Wii= Asian

So, obviously, people play Nintendo Wii because of Chinese food. What's wrong with that logic?

 
lyanna96 2007-08-23 11:19:28 AM  

 
Slamguy 2007-08-23 12:10:15 PM  
Big Jimmy Oswald: Cop is probably still just mad at the Chinese for Pearl Harbor.

Idiot. That was the Germans.


You're both wrong. It was a conspiracy by the American government to give them justification for military aggression.

Just like 9/11.

Duh. idiots.

 
Pathman [TotalFark] 2007-08-23 12:33:09 PM  
ha--they have a myspace page
this should get mean, quick

 
nethole 2007-08-23 02:46:53 PM  
Pirates any day

 
dynobot 2007-08-23 03:21:43 PM  
PersistentTater: DYNOBOT!

RTFA: "I think they watched too many Jackie Chan movies and got caught up in the fantasy," Lewis said.


good call. i retract the irrelevant bit.

but still. 3 ninjas.

c'mon.

 
Lehk 2007-08-23 07:13:31 PM  
but was there a boot to the head?

 
ciberido 2007-08-23 08:00:09 PM  
corbell: "Hey dudes, thanks for rescuing me. Let's go for a burger... Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

/I am a bad dude.


Ronnie, is that you?

/I'm bad!



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